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28 September 2010 @ 04:29 am
How far does that really get you?  
Lol more nonsense rambling. As always~ none of my posts really have a focus. One day though~ ahaha. (≧∇≦)

So I've come to the realization that if I want something, I need to take initiative to go and grab it. I know so much happens for a reason, but I suppose I can't just sit here waiting for what I want. There is so much I want to experience, I want to happen. Things I yearn, crave, desire, lust for and I just "wait" for them to happen, of course with the occasional whining involved. Which obviously isn't getting them done. (>"<) But now, I am gonna be more productive and chase what I want. ヾ(*゚▽゚)ノ Living by the motto "the world is your oyster." I just don't want to look back and always wonder "what if...." I'd rather try and fail essentially, than never trying at all. (If that makes sense?) ( ´^ー^`) Since everything that has happened it's prompted me to re-evaluate everything I want. Or what I am going for in life. Nothing is ever certain, and that's why I want to snatch up every opportunity as it comes by. A more proactive and optimistic take charge way of my life! Hey, maybe it'll create some wild memories for me to tell my future children. ヽ(*^∇゚)o

I almost always have good intentions. I would never knowingly hurt someone else.  Relationships are hard man. And any type at that, be it: familial, intimate, or even a work relationship. Especially when you are someone like me, indecisive, peacemaking, Switzerland. I see EVERYONE'S side, and that's a problem. Or more like where I run into problems. I hate choosing sides and I hate being put in the middle, as I am sure everyone does. But how do you honour 2 different sides wishes without being hurt yourself? Or showing loyalty to one, and not the other; essentially breaking trust and promises. It's an intensely slippery slope. I'm both sort of tired pleasing everyone and yet, can't stand to see fighting so I WANT to please everyone. (see what I said about being indecisive....) I am writing this after the fact, cooled down, and clear-headed so of course I have built my bridge and am crossing it, but at the time I sure felt like my heart was smushed right into my face. After cooling down, now I can see your side, but I can see their side too. I wish I could just have everyone compromise, however I don't see that being a option here. At least for now. But in the end, I guess it doesn't matter and isn't up to me solely, eventually people will do what they want, say what they want, and feel how they want and I'm okay with that. As long as they do what's best for them right? I sure hope so.

Sidenote: since picking myself up and returning back to blogging, I've seemed to sort out the way I think and feel a little better. Even though some of these (err...most of, probably.) posts seem superficial, it's helped to vent and chronicle the happenings of my life. I honestly know I am truly blessed, and am so incredibly thankful for everything I have. I know a lot of people don't have a lot of what I have. Everyday is a new day, and I cherish it most definitely, tossing irrelevant arguments and nuisances away. (*^ー^) Mostly irrelevant sidenote, but I just wanted to say~

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On a completely lighter note. I can't wait to achieve this! I seriously adore Koen's (from K-otic) piercings. Along with Boa's piercings too. And with my tattoo for my birthday, I am completely excited to get things done! Pahaha, now where is the money for this venture?! (・∀・) I've always adored body art since I can remember so yeah~ I saw the cutest bellybutton ring the other day as well, it was the regular "C" shaped one, but on top it had a pastel pink heart and the part that is under the bellybutton opening was a bow. DID WANT! (。 ̄∀ ̄)  (maybe when I tone up I will?) Which reminds me, I better get an actual stud for my nose. I am tired of this clear plastic one that I had to wear for class. (×ω×) TO MIR AND ALLIGATOR: I PROMISE YOU BBS I WILL REPLY TO YOUR FB LOVES, I'VE JUST BEEN SWAMPED WITH HMWK ;w; Lol, anyways, Better head to bed, It's practically morning here. (hahaha, I do my best blogging when no one's awake
ヾ(*・∀・)/ ) Have a lovey day to everyone out there!

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Current Location: room
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Passion Pit - Smile Upon Me
Miriam: purple dahliasstar_eyeddoll on October 1st, 2010 01:06 am (UTC)
That's such a good outlook <3, I totally admire your strength Nikki. No matter what happens you keep your chin up and try to wrangle things from a positive point of view. You're so mature bb and not to mention super adorable.

I can't wait to see your tattoo, I wish I was gutsy enough to commit to a tattoo XD. And I didn't see it but that belly ring sounds so adorable :D! Body art will forever remind me of that Japanese movie we watched together XD


Good luck with all your homework gurl! I know you can do it ~~~~~pyong <3
Nikkicutei_melon on October 7th, 2010 06:34 am (UTC)
♥ ♥ ♥ I LOVE YOU BB! You and Al are 2 main reasons I keep my head up~ You're always there for me, and I love you both unconditionally and I can't thank you both enough for everything! My 2 precious sweeties ^O^

LOL THAT MOVIE. Cray as it was, I seriously love that movie though. None of that monkey business for me however xD I am trying to convince my parents to let me take you with hahaha. Unless you don't wanna then that's kay too! ^O^b -milk's pig kang ho dong face here-

ssjkfklsadfjlk! APRT NOW!

&PYONGCHU BB! I know you can stomp your classwork to the ground!
Miriam: double rainbow!star_eyeddoll on October 7th, 2010 06:28 pm (UTC)
I WOULD LOVE TO GO WITH YOU!!!! No joke bb, I would be honored :D!